A husband and wife, together nearly 15 years, had reached a breaking point. And in the middle of their latest fight, they received a heartbreaking text.
“Our son heard us arguing,” the husband told Futurism. “He’s 10, and he sent us a message from his phone saying, ‘please don’t get a divorce.'”
What his wife did next, the man told us, unsettled him.
“She took his message, and asked ChatGPT to respond,” he recounted. “This was her immediate reaction to our 10-year-old being concerned about us in that moment.”
The couple is now divorcing. Like most marriages, the husband conceded, theirs was imperfect. But they’d been able to overcome their difficulties in the past, and as of just a few months ago, he felt they were in a good, stable place.
“We’ve been together for just under 15 years, total. Two kids,” he explained. “We’ve had ups and downs like any relationship, and in 2023, we almost split. But we ended up reconciling, and we had, I thought, two very good years. Very close years.”
“And then,” he sighed, “the whole ChatGPT thing happened.”
Over this past summer, arguments they’d worked together to resolve years ago came suddenly — and ferociously — roaring back. What he eventually realized was that his wife had started using OpenAI’s chatbot to analyze him and their marriage, holding “long, drawn-out conversations” over text and the chatbot’s phone-like Voice Mode feature.
“What was happening, unbeknownst to me at the time, was she was dredging up all of these things that we had previously worked on, and putting it into ChatGPT,” he said.
As his wife leaned on the tech as a confidante-meets-journal-meets-therapist, he says, it started to serve as a sycophantic “feedback loop” that depicted him only as the villain.
“I could see ChatGPT responses compounding,” he said, “and then [my wife] responding to the things ChatGPT was saying back, and further and further and further spinning.”
“It’s not giving objective analysis,” he added. “It’s only giving her back what she’s putting in.”
Their marriage eroded swiftly, over a span of about four weeks, and the husband blames ChatGPT.
“My family is being ripped apart,” the man said, “and I firmly believe this phenomenon is central to why.”
***
As AI bots like ChatGPT become inextricably tangled with people’s private and public lives, it’s causing unpredictable new crises.
One of these collision points is in romantic relationships, where an uncanny dynamic is unfolding across the world: one person in a couple becomes fixated on ChatGPT or another bot — for some combination of therapy, relationship advice, or spiritual wisdom — and ends up tearing the partnership down as the AI makes more and more radical interpersonal suggestions.
To learn what these AI breakups and divorces look like, we talked to more than a dozen people who say that AI chatbots played a key role in the dissolution of their long-term relationships and marriages. Nearly all of these now-exes are currently locked in divorce proceedings and…
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